Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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