rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
