i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Randomize
