I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Randomize