i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
