You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
We are two peas in an std pod
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize