She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
