I feel like abortions should bother me more
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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