Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Randomize
