you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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