just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
