You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
