my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
