You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Randomize