We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Also, beer. Big fan.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
