if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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