Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Randomize
