I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
