So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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