I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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