We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
