I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
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Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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