Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
