Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
