I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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