brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
