hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
