I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize