TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
The struggles of a small town man whore
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
