is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
you traded sex for a burrito?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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