Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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