Its about making memories worth repressing
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
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