I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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