This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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