If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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