She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
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