i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
