This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
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How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I could fuck to npr.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
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