Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Randomize
