we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
