After last night, I could never be a politician.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
