I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
