he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
