needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
