I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
You have to summon your inner elephant
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Randomize
