u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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