Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Randomize
