So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize