so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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