tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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