ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Someone came in the potted fern
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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