My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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