Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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