"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
