I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
What drink are we having for lunch?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
