I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
