This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
