You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
