So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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