Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
