I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
