He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
