so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
