so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
