worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize