Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
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