party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
