I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
