thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Randomize
