no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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